Sunday, April 29, 2012

Is this gonna be 4eva?

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Hey blog buddies...I have been off line for a couple of weeks now focusing on my son's CRCTs that ended Friday. On our way home from testing I began to feel really crummy and I've been in bed all weekend sick. It started with what I thought was seasonal allergies a few months back and now my entire throat is swollen and I have been really congested...which sucks 'cause I'm kind of addicted to breathing!!!  I just wanna live...not lay around all day with no energy and sneezing my head off! Which leads me to the title of this blog post...did you ever see "David goes to the dentist" on youtube? I can so relate to that little boy sometimes, ya' know? Like when life takes a lil more endurance than usual... that's what has been goin' on here...but endurance is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit...and I know HE is living in my heart...endurance is usually not a pleasant thing to experience, but once I am on the other side of it, I always know that it was something that took a miracle to get through... so I feel like poor lil' David, "...is this gonna' be for eva?" I beleive that GOD has heard my prayer (Please Lord let me breathe through my nose clearly) and I am certain that it is HIS plan to have me doing just that...HE created me to breathe through my nose so anything else is from my enemy and GOD is bigger than all of my enemies. I don't want to complain, I know that HE does not like whiners...so I'ma just blog for the record that I am healed and delivered from seasonal allergies TODAY!

So anyway since my last post I was able to get my new sewing machine set up and I made my first handbag!  Sew cute! I will post pix as soon as I can stand long enough without feeling dizzy and exhausted! I know I will feel better soon, ya know why?

...Well when JESUS spoke from the cross and said, "It is finished!" I beleive "It" meant all of everything...Salvation, Healing and Deliverance! I am healed by the Blood of the Lamb and the Word of my Testimony...I know that I know that I am Saved by HIS grace...so yeah I am healed and delivered too! MANIFEST NOW in JESUS name!

I can't wait to see what HE has planned for me this week!

Oh yeah, I started a new Bible study entitled "Finding Father"...It is really helpful with getting to know that I am hearing Father God's voice and that these are not just my own thoughts...I'll keep ya' posted!

Blessings,
Shawnie

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

(o.o) Whoo~whoot! (Who gives a whoot, really?)

Wednesday, April 18, 2012


Today is our 20 year Wedding Anniversary! (Wow, how can that be when I am only 29again years old?!?!?) My parents came by the house this mornin' to bring my husband and I an anniversary card...with money in it to go to dinner tonight! We have been walking thru a season of B-R-O-K-E-N finances...the kind where toilet paper becomes pretty scarce and the prospect of using an old phonebook to wipe our butts is thought provoking as an alternative option to Charmin! Someone recently suggested just swiping some from the local bathrooms I frequent when I am out and about grocery shopping, and whatnot....really, REALLY? Nah, "swiping" is stealing, even considering the fact that phone book paper is not as cushy as Charmin... I will not steal toilet paper from anywhere...no matter how desperate we become!!! (For the record, GOD has always provided and we have not had to resort to the phone book or stealing... yay, GOD!)

Any~hoo, I know this is just a season...GOD has always used the hubbz as a good provider of groceries and not to mention he has always paid all the bills over the last 20 years. I have been a stay-at-home home school Mama and it is pretty obvious that that does not yield ANY income! I am glad to have done it though, & we have been greatly blessed  as a family with our memories and experiences together.

In honor of our 20th wedding anniversary I would like to share a few of those memories here on my blog... perhaps someone can glean a little confidence in the staying power of marriage through our experiences & my thoughts on them! 

This is how I Iknow our love, and this is when I feel its power: sometimes basking in the warmth of it, and sometimes in its darkest hour. The best memories I have could not fill this entire internet, there are so many wonderful moments that a family can share. How about the birth of a baby? Wow...words just cannot describe...amazing love, it brings tears to my eyes...big, fat, hot tears of joy are runnin' down my cheeks right now while I am simultaneously smiling as I recall the birth of each of our three children. The memories my husband and I share during those miraculous moments are the GORILLA-glue that holds us together when the violent, angry winds of seperation  & divorce threaten to blow between us like a hurricane... leaving us with a choice of bitterness or love. I choose love. (Of course there is the initial attraction we share, we are like two powerful magnets that race to be together once we realize that we are drifting apart.) I still feel butterflies in my tummy sometimes when he walks into a room, I am honored and blessed to have a man with a heart of gold to love me like he does.

At the opposite end of the spectrum then... there is his hyper-active, wild, cave man attitude that makes me wanna' run far & fast from him. He is a manly man, no doubt...he is a country boy, a survivor in the woods (hence his lack of "need" for toilet paper!!!) I love the ruggedness about him, I really do...but it does come with its challenges. Sometimes MANLY MEN act out of rage and toughness like a peacock when it struts its stuff or a porcupine when that fight or flight mode kicks in...ever tried to  hug a porcupine? I have (the hubbz) & it does not work...they are prickly and do not respond to love or wanna' let anyone get close...that is when I am so thankful to have my own interests that don't include him...I have found things to enjoy like using my GOD blessed creativity to start my own business. I don't reccomend having interests (that don't include your spouse) that do include other people (obviously people of the opposite sex are bad company for obvious reasons!) because when my husband and I are getting along like peanut butter and jelly the people I had run to for keeping me company feel left out...in my experience that just doesn't work well... because then the other person becomes jealous of your relationship and will sabotage it one way or another.

The porcupine comment I made in that last parragraph made me remember the line I still say to the hubbz when I sense the hurricane a blowin'... I tell him, "I only respond to love!" and I just walk away....That ususally shuts him up!

We hit the lowest point of our marriage two years ago. After what seemed at the time like an unforgivable act of unkindess and blatant disrespect of our marriage I asked him to leave. Being the manly man that he is he would not, so I left him... for four months were seperated and we each had an appointment with divorce attourneys... I felt certain "we" as a family were finished.

Miraculously his divorce attourney asked him, "Chris, why do you hate your wife, what has she done?"

And that's when my husband replied, "She has done nothing wrong, she has left me. She wants a divorce." With that, his divorce attourney suggested that divorce is VERY expensive (ha! that got my husband's attention!) and while he would take the case, he suggested my husband contact me first and do "whatever it took" to try to work things out. Well, what he did not know (nor did I) at the time was that I did not  really want a divorce, and that GOD had a plan of restoration, but we all had to be onboard...all hands on deck...it was time to swab the poop deck!

Since then we have reconciled... My husband left the divorce attourney's office and called me from the parking lot weeping... he had had a change of heart. He actually told me these words, "It was like I was standing on the edge of the cliff of our marriage, and I decided I did not want to jump off!"

You see, it was him that had wandered away from center. I am centered in GOD and that is the ONLY reason our marriage is strong today. I read a quote once that said something like... "A woman should be so close to GOD that in order for a man to touch her heart, he has to go through GOD first"...or something like that...basicly I love GOD first. I believe that GOD showed me during that four months of seperation that I could forgive my husband, but that it would take total trust in GOD's ability to reconcile us (not my husband's). So you see, it really doesn't matter what my husband does or does not do... my heart is so full of GOD that I don't =NEED= my husband to complete me...GOD completes me. I am glad that GOD has chosen my husband to support me and to walk through this life with me. (Or probably the truth is that I chose my husband, and GOD has blessed our union!) Yeah, that sounds more like it! 

Well, as sure as the seasons change, my life's seasons will too. Poverty does not define me, but it has taught me a few lessons that I will take with me heading into the next season: ABUNDANCE. I am heading toward abundance, it's harvest time! One lesson is to recycle. Up~cycle. Repurpose. Re-use. All of those words describe not only things, but people. I really love the word "UP~CYCLE" because it seems to be what GOD has done to me and for me. He up~cycled our marriage, and HE is up~cycling me! I just recently was blessed with a new Singer160 (Squeal!) sewing machine... I love it! I have been making things for my lil' Etsy shop which can be found here: www.cre8ivespirit.etsy.com  I hope you will stop by by shop to see what I have been making. (As of today I have not uploaded anything made with my new Singer160, but there will be new items added soon...meanwhile there are other goodies on display in my shop that I have made, so stop by browse, shop & enjoy... from right where you are!)   

Have you begun to use PINTEREST yet? I have been using many great ideas and inspirations from Pinterest and some other awesome bloggers, while I've been working hard to organize my studio. I am pretty humbled by the outpouring of blessings GOD has showered me with & I would like to share some pix of my studio...when it is finished..I am honored to have such a great place to create stuff!

For those of you interested in what I have been reading from my BIBLE...today I read about WARFARE!!! Did you know that you have anti-spyware automatically downloaded by GOD into your spirit? I read an interesting blog about it here: http://www.madeforheaven.org/christian-blog/blog-bid-8 I really like this blog. The author helps make things so easy to understand! So, go check it out & I hope you enjoy it as much ~ or more than I have!
Blessings,
Shawnie

Monday, April 9, 2012

Today's a new day!

Monday, April 9, 2010

Good evening blog buddies...hope everyone is well...I have been busy as most people are during Spring Break; that is why I did not post last week! I am pretty sure by viewing my stats that my lack of blogging last week did not rock anyone's world...but still, I will try to do better than a once per week blog.

While I was away from the internet, I read the entire book of Hosea... oops, I confess, I could not hold out and string that book out for two whole weeks! It was just too good... the Word is like honey to me, sweet and tasty...so I gobbled it all up! Really...in like two days... I really tried not to read it all at once, but I couldda' read it in one afternoon, easily!!!

I especially loved that the romance book of Hosea (Old Testament book of the Bible) is like an allegory of how GOD loves me (but I ain't no ho, yo'!) Can y'all believe that GOD told Hosea to marry a hoochie mama? Wow...it is a pretty intense love story filled with major drama from a minor prophet! Let's just all agree here and now that what GOD told Hosea to do was no minor thing, and yet Hosea is considered one of the "minor" prophets in the Bible. Not minor because it was no big deal, I am sure...because what GOD told Hosea to do was huge! He asked Hosea to love the unlovely. This was not only huge because it is an emotionally difficult thing to do, but it was huge because GOD asked a mere mortal, Hosea, to do it...and guess what? Hosea did it. He was obedient to GOD, this gives me hope that I am totally capable now that I have the Holy Spirit living in me, to guide me, it should be easy to obey GOD, right? RIGHT? Have you tried doing that lately?  Have you realized yet that GOD has asked you to love the unlovely?  uhhh, oh well...umm...Perhaps you are the unlovely, and HE has asked somebody else to love you... Hmmm?  Surely GOD has not asked you to marry a prostitute and forgive the skanky one for going back into prostitution after makin' babies with you...but HE does ask us to love the unlovely...in fact HE expects us to.

Gomer was her name (Hosea's hoochie mama). Imagine a woman who was redeemed from a life of prostitution. A life where her owner is abusive to her, and the many men that he keeps her busy with are abusive as well. .. an endless parade of people hacking away at Gomer's self esteem. I am certain that this does not give Gomer a real sense of trust for men, her own judgement, or trust in general. Let's face it Gomer's got some serious issues. She's a train wreck.

Now, imagine if you will a decent man comes along...this one is different. He is aglow with love for her, but this love is like nothing she has ever experienced before. When Hosea looks into Gomer's sad, wandering, distant stare he manages for a fleeting moment to capture her attention, and she catches a glimpse of an all consuming love in his eyes. A love that is different from the lust she is used to seeing in the greedy eyes of the men who only want to devour her, use her up, hurt her body and then treat her like trash. She does not understand this LOVE. So she does not really accept it. She feels she is not worthy. Her self esteem has been long gone, like a distant memory that she clings to...unsure of it's validity, she let's go of love, as if it is not even real. Of course love is not real, her self worth coupled with hear fears keep love at an arm's length. Her life is a life of pain...physical pain, emotional pain, spiritual emptiness...that is what is real to Gomer. Spent. Used up. Worthless. Gomer. She is a hollow soul. Her days are mere existance, just something she must get through. There is no real joy. Only Apathy. 

"Marry Hosea...meh, whatever, why not?" She asks herself. Saved from a life of prostitution, how bad could it be? She might wonder. It couldn't be any worse than what she had been used to.... but to her pleasant surprise, Hosea was truly a decent man. Hosea treated Gomer with honor and dignity, he told her that he loved her. He would bathe her body, washing her limbs, scrub her toes. He would brush her long hair and pull it back gently out of her face, as he told her he loved her and kissed her gently on her forehead. He told her that he knew that she had been though so much physically, and that he would wait for her body to heal "as long as it takes" (he told her) before he would even begin to think about starting a family. Time went by, Hosea loving Gomer, and Gomer waiting "for the other shoe to drop"...

"It's only a matter of time," thought Gomer, "before Hosea finds out that I really am not worth all his trouble, and kindness." Gomer was wrong, what she did not know was that not only was Hosea motivated by a love for her that she could not understand, but in everything that Hosea did he was motivated by his love for GOD. Hosea did not need Gomer's love, he chose her. Still it hurt him to see his wife unable to give or receive his love. Hosea was so certain and grounded and centered in his relationship with GOD that he would obey GOD by marrying this prostitute. Her behaviour did not matter, Hosea was warned of her unfaithfulness ahead of time, perhaps that is what made this bitter pill a little easier to swallow. Bottom line, Hosea loved GOD, and GOD would take care of Hosea he was certain. You see when we choose our relationships or our spouse the drama begins when we make that person our god. When we put that person on a pedestal, and believe in our heart and mind that we can not live with out them. That is a lie. What is the emotional connection? What drives your relationships? Ask yourself this, "If I am feeling like I can not live without this person, is that a really good feeling?" "Do I really want to continue down this thought path," and finally, "Is this a healthy thought"?

She gives birth to her first son, Jezreel. (Translation: GOD plants) Birth...a new life, whatever! Gomer knows she should be happy, but there is so much pain, so much work to be done caring for an infant. Besides that, the birth of this child is over shadowed by the anger of GOD for His people. The birth of Jezreel is  also over shadowed by the overwhelming pent up anger inside of Gomer's heart. Emotions out of control. Gomer focuses on her baby and in the process, she completely loses touch with herself. 

Then Gomer got pregnant again. "Great, just great..." she thinks sarcasticly as she gives birth to a daughter this time. GOD told Hosea to name the child Lo-Ruhamah which translates to "No-Mercy" because GOD has run out of mercy for Israel. HE said there was no more forgiveness for Israel. This was no new thing for Gomer... her emotions were already way outta' whack! She had been emotionally shipwrecked years ago. She knew she deserved no mercy. Why should being a mother make her valuable?  How could she ever feel any greater than what she was, a worthless whore. If I know anything about human nature and the depression that accompanies shame and guilt... this poor lowly woman probably felt that she was involved in a perpetual motion of a downward spiral of breeding more hurt, sadness and depression into the lives of her children.... and look, her low self esteem is only confirmed when GOD saddles her offspring with those GOD forsaken names.

As soon as Gomer had weaned "No-Mercy" she got pregnant again and had another son...GOD told Hosea to name him Lo-Ammi which loosely translates to "Nobody". (Because the BIBLE says that GOD felt that HIS chosen people were now no-bodies to HIM and that HE was no longer their GOD.) Shoo-wee...That this woman did not hurl herself off the nearest mountain top at that point was nothing short of a miracle. I mean how could anyone live with all that shame? I can only imagine that she did not want to live, I imagine that she was a hollow soul. This story is bad enough if it simply ended here, but wait...it gets worse!

Sure GOD is angry with Gomer. He is angry with HIS people. How many times do we read in the Bible that GOD is so disappointed with HIS creation? The story of Noah. The story of Jonah. Sodom & Gomorah... When are we gonna' get it??? HE LOVES US...HE THINKS WE ARE TO DIE FOR!

God had just finished laying the smack down about Israel's sins by comparing HIS people to a promiscuous (Uh, yeah more like a trashy) woman. Hosea could totally relate since Gomer wasn't exaclty a stellar wife. But even after God chose some pretty intense names for Hosea and Gomer's rug-rats that reflected Israel's current state, and then describing how HE was going to remove HIS blessing from Israel, GOD made a dramatic 180 degree turn toward mercy....MERCY! Yeah, it seemed a bit bi-polar, and I must say that I do not totally understand what happened between the end of chapter 1 and the beginning of chapter 3...I mean I read it again, and again, and again...and it is a blur. All I can tell ya' is that GOD's plan goes from one end of the spectrum TOTAL ABANDONMENT to the other PERFECT LOVE.

Did GOD change HIS mind after HE sat back and watched the best of human nature unfold before HIM? Was GOD moved by the human love that blossomed out of Hosea as he showed GOD the potential a mere human has when he displays love by loving the unlovely... Gomer? Obedience. Is that what turned it all around? God says in HIS word..."If you love me, you will obey me." Hosea loved GOD by loving his unfaithful wife Gomer. Whoah...who does that??? Sheesh, by today's standards Hosea would have been toast for loving a skank. His homey's would have dropped him like he was hot!!! They would have been all, "Ya' know what Hosea? That Gomer, she's a ho! You're a nice guy, so why don'tcha kick that skank to the curb...c'mon man, bro's before ho's, right? Yo', dude I got your back!" And perhaps it went down a little bit like that, who knows...

I can only tell you that what Hosea chose to do in the wake of his immense, intense emotional gut wrenching pain, the devastation & disappointment that the unfaithfulness of his prostitue wife turning back to a life of prostitution after already being rescued once from that gutter trash lifestyle surely caused him was incredible by human standards, and it got GOD's attention...Hosea did the unthinkable...the unimaginable by most men's standards. I am sure most spouses would have given up on Gomer long before Hosea did, which is what totally caught GOD's attention, and I believe it is what changed GOD's mind totally, causing HIM to do a 180.

So, yeah...Chat time: Now we are at the beginning of chapter three, and Gomer is in a downward spiral of sin, including adultery, leaving her family and prostitution...AGAIN! Yup! She left the loving arms of her husband,  her babies, and the only family she probably ever knew and went back into prostitution...What the junk?  (psst: by the way GOD did give Hosea a head's up ahead of time that this was gonna' happen, and HE gave Hosea the choice to do it or not.. It appears that God even let Hosea pick Gomer from an all too abundant pack of wild women...Hosea thought Gomer was the pick of the litter, so to speak!)

Anyhoo, get this: Gomer's on the auction block, and from what history tells us about slavery at that time, Gomer prolly' stood naked so that interested buyers could examine the (ahem) "merchandise". As the auctioneer tries to get a starting bid going for this skanky ole' hag, and in her absolute humiliation, she hears a familiar voice and looks up to see Hosea, the husband she's been separated from, walking through the wild crowd. The crowd (you can imagine) was raunchy and cruel, probably slingin' mud and 'maters, rotten food and nasty comments about how haggard Gomer  must have looked...remember she had given up on herself long before this story even began, since she started out in the gutter...when you hit bottom you would think there wouldn't be too far to fall. WRONG! This crowd was likely an angry mob who probably heckled the auctioneer for wasting their time with one in such a worthless state. They might as well have bought her for a penny.

Enter Hosea. Everyone in town knew his story. What a love sick goof ball he must have looked like. The crowd may have become silent as Hosea placed his bid, and sure enough, he was the highest bidder. As he paid for his wife, the gossip about today's events must have spread throughout the entire town like wild fire. He hands the required amount to the acutioneer - he had to pay for her even though he was still legally married to her. Gently, Hosea reaches for her hand to lead her home, again. As she looks into his eyes of love she is once again captivated by the awesomeness of the love that she is painfully aware that she does not deserve. 

Her eyebrows raise to a question, as she looks into Hosea's eyes, but this is no time for words. The love that Hosea has just displayed to Gomer and to everyone else at the auction that day spoke volumes. Actions speak louder than words. Love is a verb.

Talk about a powerful picture this is of a husband's forgiveness - and remember, Hosea is only human. Now imagine the amazing love that GOD displayed when HE asked JESUS to offer HIS redeeming love for unfaithful people like us. I am not asking you to view yourself as unworthy, although we are...but on the flip side, can't you see that if GOD say's that you are worthy, YOU ARE WORTHY! You have great value, when you have to face the demons that want to remind you of your past you just remind them of their future...and when low self esteem and unworthiness try to get you down in the dumps, you just remember who you are. You are the redeemed of the LORD. Let the redeemed of the Lord say so!  SO! I am redeemed, and I know it, I am so loved, how 'bout you? Do you know that yet? I have prayed over this blog, that those of you out there in cyber space who may have stumbled upon this blog would have eyes to see what GOD has done, and ears to hear HIM calling you from HIS heart. I asked HIM to show you the POWER of HIS LOVE!

Blessings,
Shawnie

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

What can you get over?

Monday, April 2, 2012

Get over it...Let it go...Let it be... What can you get over? How do we just get over it...(whatever "it" may be).

Is there anyone out there who doesn't feel like the world has gone cray~zaaay? Sheesh, I know there is a lot of pain in the world. I do not live in a bubble anymore...This ain't no fairytale, and we do not all live happily ever after...

LIFE, I never noticed before today, but it's a four letter word!!!  That said, I am not bummed out. I am simply stating the reality of life this side of Heaven, and reality sucks! Mean people suck. (Can I say the word suck and not be offensive?) I am not trying to offend anyone, but by golly mean people, selfish people suck. People hurtin' people, c'mon where's the love... yo? I have just noticed that a lot of people are facing a lot of stank in their lives... from my 95 year old friend to my 19 year old daughter, and I am not exempt here either... there's a whole lotta' pain & suffering in this world, people hurtin' people...people hurtin' themselves...and without JESUS I don't see it getting any better.

I guess maybe I am a lil' too compassionate... I prolly feel too deeply...maybe I just need to get over it, let it go & let it be....GOD, help! This kinda thinkin' has led me to a deeper thought... "What is LOVE?" Does anybody really know what Love is? I do. Even through all of the pain. I do. Thank God, I have parents who are real. Who know how to love me, and thank GOD that I know that GOD LOVES me.

When our minds and our imaginations are crippled with lies about love, we have a hard time understanding the fundamental ingredient of daily living, that GOD LOVES US BEYOND WHAT WE COULD IMAGINE...HE LOVES US NOT FOR WHAT WE CAN DO FOR HIM, BUT BECAUSE HE MADE US. HE MADE ME.

The book of Hosea is a parable of GOD's love for HIS people. God told Hosea to marry a whore, a prostitute. The parallel here is that I am (we are) unfaithful to GOD when I (we) sin against HIM, when I (we) disobey HIM. He went after me at my worst, and kept after me until HE gained my trust, and made a lover out of me...me who knew nothing of real LOVE.

As soon as I began to absorb this story of redemption, I began to know GOD much more accurately. I thought I knew HIM when I thought of Him as Father God...as "The Big Guy Upstairs", the Father who was waiting to discipline me when I messed up...Yeah HE is that too, but I know that HE is not waiting for me to mess up anymore...Duh! He is omnipotent, HE knows right now all the ways I am gonna sin in the future ... ways I can't even imagine right now, ways I don't wanna imagine ever...but HE already knows and HE already loves me for ETERNITY...WOW... MIND BLOWING...isn't it? I cannot fathom it, and yet I know that I know that I am loved. Do you? Knowing you are loved does not exempt you from pain, it just helps you get through it. Life requires endurance. Loving a person just the way they are, that's no small thing. Loving a person at their worst, even when they are rebelling against you, that is Supernatural. That is what Hosea did... That's what GOD does.

More on this subject tomorrow... But to answer the question..."How do you get over it?" When you know you are loved you can get over anything...let anything go...take no offense. I know that I am loved. I sure hope you do, too!

Blessings,
Shawnie

Sunday, April 1, 2012

NO MORE FOOL's Challenge!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

O'kay y'all, so we made it through the M.O.M. Challenge and I can say I am not a fool today. If you stuck with me and read through the Proverbs everyday last month you can count yourself a little older and a lil' wiser today too (April Fool's Day, 2012).

I have been workin' hard on my spiritual life, since of course a strong healthy spirit will live happily ever after throughout all of eternity...vs. the fact that this earth suit is going to perish one day! I know that whole "My body is the temple of GOD" thing, but I don't know that I have ever really taken that serioiusly, because I have really abused this temple over the years. Which has me thinkin' "what about the here and now?" I would be a fool today if I did not recognize  my failure to take care of this temple, and take responsibility for the bad choices I have made over the past year with my physical body. 

 I went militant with my diet in 2010 and bought some HCG and followed a very strict diet  for about 9 months, resulting in a 60# weight loss... and I was looking good, and very healthy since I only ate lean protein, lots of veggies and some fruit...I was so proud of myself, but then guess what? I just turned my back on that healthy lifestyle and all of the healthy lifestyle changes that I had made and then I realized that I found the weight again! It was hiding in my bad habits and aparently in my well hidden desire to self destruct. Why? Why can't I just be skinny and rich???

Why, Why, Why? I have been asking myself that ever since I quit taking the HCG and I noticed that my food choices were usually sweets, bread, unhealthy carbs...greasy fried foods or convenience foods. When I relaxed my boundaries and quit "eating clean" and working out physically on a consistant basis, I morphed into large marge... the michelin man, the pillsberry dough boy....you gettin' the picture, 'cause I am starting to hurt my feelings... I can not ignore this anymore. I am not happy with my physical body, I don't like what I see in the mirror. I can do better than this. So from now on my motto is: "YES, I AM TRYING TO EAT HEALTHY. NO I AM NOT ON A DIET!"

So here it is April Fool's day, and I do think that all of that wisdom I gained has led me to the realization that my body is my gift from GOD. I do want to take care of it! I used to work for Nutri-System in sales, and one of the sales motivators we would use was to take a look at our clients...(especially the women) notice the nicely manicured fingernails, and then I would mention to them that having those nails took time, money and their attention...in short, they had to work at having nice nails, it cost them some money and time to have those nails lookin' good. Then I would mention the fact that fingernails are so tiny, and not the first thing people notice when they look at you. What good are nice nails, when the rest of your body is so far out of shape and sloppy? (O'kay, I never used the word "sloppy" in the sales pitch!) but the point is clear. Not that I am so concerned about what others think, I mean, get real I do care, I don't want to be "Ugly Betty" I don't think anyone really does...but then I get overwhelmed at the thought of how far the journey back to thin is going to be. SO What? Every day there are 24 hours to spend either wasting on misery and pain and laziness, or self control, self respect and strength. I need to love myself. I need to figure out why I have not been loving myself, and I need to ask GOD to help me...with HIM everything is possible. I have noticed that I have not been very active lately...Crafter's butt? Maybe! Laziness, prolly'!!! SO I have decided to work this plan tomorrow: (I found it on Pinterest)

Life is such a daily thing, ya' know? It comes at ya' ready or not...I am not going to let my thoughts today write any checks that I can not cash, but I am aware of the fact that I am going to focus on some changes that will result in physical strength...now! Today. So today I decided to drink more water. I love water, but I have decided to conciously drink about 100 oz. of water per day. (Not all at once, and if I get sidetracked I will not try to cram it all in before bed!) I will commit to move my body daily and give myself 30 minutes of "ME" time when I first wake up. I will begin to prepare my food ahead of time, plan my meals and work outs and stick to the plan! I am not going on like this: tired, fat and flabby... I miss firm strong arms and a tight core... so that is what I will focus on. Strength. I'll be workin' on my fitness, (yeah, me and Fergie and a bucha' other women who have made the choice to get strong.)

So this is not really challenge, but I will be posting my progress online, since this is my online journal/blog/Bible Study thingy... If you are in leave a comment below and maybe we could start a community of people that are like minded and want to be accountable to each other... easy going, checkin' in to lift each other up or give each other tips on what is workin' and what's not!

Blessings,
Shawnie

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