Wednesday, June 13, 2012

They told me to go to re-hab & I said "Yes, yes, YES!!!"

June 13, 2012

They told me to go to re-hab & I said "Yes, yes, YES!!!"  


GOD's Re-hab that is  (Tee-he-he)!!!

I woke up this morning thinking of the promises of GOD (yay!).  His Word is slap full of promises for me & for you! BUT, Guess what???? We have a choice to believe them (& HIM) or rebel & say "No, no, no!"

I realize that the subject of this post may be harsh, but I also know that it is the harsh, extravagant, reality of TRUTH that will pull us from the hazzardous & potentially life threatening rut that we call our current beliefs! Ask Amy Winehouse, or Whitney Houston or Michael Jackson or how 'bout the guy in Miami who in his LSD-ish zombie high was found naked & chowing down on the face of a homeless man, then he was fatally shot while he was so high that he was out of his mind & not responding with obedience to the police who warned him to stop his freak like behaviour... but wait ......you can't ask them  'cause they all died in their rut. I mean no disrespect, to the family of Amy Winehouse (or the others), on the contrary I honor them. The dis-honorable life these people chose to live can be an honorable lesson for those who are reading this by speaking TRUTH however controvercial it may be. Others may have reached the same conclusion as I have, and they are thinking it, but I'ma come right out and say it, okay? I would venture to say if Amy Winehouse or anyone else who has died as a result of drugs or alcohol addictions could speak from their experiences, they would have made better choices BEFORE their addictions caused them to believe the lie that "I'm just going to get high this once," or "one more drink won't kill me", or "(cigarettes/marijuana/drugs/alcohol/cocaine/sex Fill in the blank with your addiction of choice) It's No big deal" !!!

COME ON PEOPLE, WAKE UP BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE! (or better yet be smart before you ever start!) I know because I made those mistakes, and I wish I had been a stronger/smarter girl than to ever try alcohol or drugs... Thank GOD I did not die in my addiction, but Amy Winehouse was not so fortunate. Maybe if someone had been able to shake her & wake her from her addiction before she became like a zombie she may have changed her mind and said "Yes, yes, yes" to re-hab (instead of rebelling against it). I have some very real and deep/wild/scary thoughts about the supposed "zombie apocolypse" that my 13 year old son tells me is pending!!! Sounds like a far fetched Nightmare on Elm Street style Hollywood movie, but it is not so far fetched if you think about it... Drugs & alcohol taking over our culture...the "Walking Dead" hmmm..."The Walking Zooted outtaa' their minds" sounds more like the reality of it!!!

I have been feeling a little "schlumpy" for the past year or so and I realize that the thoughts that try to pummel my brainz are not my own thoughts, some thoughts that cross my mind are from the enemy of my soul. That enemy (The BIBLE says) would like to kill steal and destroy me (& you!). I know to some that may sound like paranoia, but seriously??? I am a happy person with loving thoughts and peaceful thoughts and decent uplifting thoughts, so why do I find myself back in the rut of anxious thoughts, & the desire to excape the pain of life experiences by getting high or drinking a glass of wine? (For the record I am clean and sober and have been for many years now, but once upon a time I was a Grey Princess who just wanted to escape). My gut belief  now is that something bigger than me threatens me...I call it "Brutus"...it is a beast who tries to lure me into giving up or lull me into a way of escape... any opportunity to escape the pain or dull the pain of life. Life is only painful if you think about it that way...The Bible says "as a man thinketh so is he" ... What we need to escape is the stinkin' thinkin'!!!

"Brutus" wants me to rebel against GOD's re-hab plan for my life! You see, when a thought crosses my mind that is disturbing, I know now that it was not my own thought! When I say "disturbing" I mean any thought that leaves me feeling ill at ease...angry thoughts, jealous thoughts, hateful thoughts and the like.  Thoughts that don't line up with the nature of GOD (and yeah, even thoughts of suicide, like the world would be a better place without me~~~  now that is clearly not my own OR GOD's thoughts about me!)

I confess, I have experienced such depth of despair that I have thought life was too hard and that it would just be easier to let go, free-fall....that kinda' thinking led me to drinking alcohol and doing drugs to escape the pain. So where did all this "pain" come from? I mean I have really good parents who love me and who did their best to "train me up in the way I should go"...I was not abused or neglected or molested... so then, why all the pain??? I think some of it was brought on by my own stinkin' thinkin'!!! By being a double minded girl, who became unstable in all my ways...I was brought up to be level headed, but instead of balancing on the Truth of who I am, I began to wobble until one day I simply crashed (actually, it happened a few times!) I had no integrity, I was not the same person to my parents that I was in front of my friends or my peers. I was a hypocrite. 

Some of my worst thoughts are the hypocritical ones...what does it mean to be a hypocrite??? It means being double minded, having double standards...it involves being judgemental and  it involves critical thinking of others and their choices... It was way easier for me to look at the mistakes of others and think, "Wow, thank goodness I am not like _____."  I think it is good to see the mistakes of others if we can learn from them, but not if we are seeing those mistakes, making the same ones (or worse ones) and then comparing ourselves to them... like we are better than them...let's face it we are all screwed up at some point in our life! No human is perfect, except JESUS! I know one thing for certain about being a hypocrite...I just don't want to be one! & yet I find myself at the crossroads (pretty darn frequently) of Hypocrite Highway and Love Lane. That is when I have to stop and ask directions from Holy Spirit...and I have to contstantly measure myself against the plumb line of GOD's Word (not looking to what other people are doing ~ mind you ~  'cause like I said... pretty much everyone is a lil' screwed up!!!)

Jesus taught against hypocrisy in Luke the 12th chapter...so GOD wants us to know and be aware of it, not to condemn us, but to show us that it is something to repent of... turn away from...better yet, to run from it and to gouge it out of our very being if necessary.

I was reading Luke 12 today where JESUS taught a warning against hypocrisy... "Meanwhile, the crowds grew until thousands were milling about and stepping on each other. Ahem, stepping on each other??? Maybe that means literally or like "stepping on each other's toes" You know what I mean!!! Teasing one another perhaps? Picking on each other, offending each other (yeah probably on purpose!) Maybe that is why Jesus turned first to his disciples and warned them, "BEWARE OF THE YEAST (A.K.A. sin) OF THE PHARISEES - THEIR HYPOCRISY. THE TIME IS COMING WHEN EVERYTHING THAT IS COVERED UP WILL BE REVEALED, AND ALL THAT IS SECRET WILL BE MADE KNOWN TO ALL. WHATEVER YOU HAVE SAID IN THE DARK WILL BE HEARD IN THE LIGHT, AND WHAT YOU HAVE WHISPERED BEHIND CLOSED DOORS WILL BE SHOUTED FROM THE HOUSETOPS FOR ALL TO HEAR!" (& then JESUS goes on to talk about the value of each one of us, the dangers of materialism and where and how to find true freedom and contentment...hint~hint: it is not  found in getting high!).

In chapter 12 of Luke JESUS talks about the value of each person to GOD (our Creator). One of the things HE talks about is the comparison and contrast of a person to the sparrow. Think about what HE is saying here...if GOD cares for even the smallest lil' birdie (the sparrow), then HE cares even more for us. If HE cares enough to count the hairs on our head, then HE cares even more about our thoughts and feelings. Dwelling on this reality, THIS TRUTH & GOD'S PROMISES can help us when we feel depressed or lonely or left out or left behind. THE MOST POWERFUL AND IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE CARES DEEPLY FOR ME & FOR YOU, DOES'NT THAT GRAB YOUR ATTENTION? It grabs mine!!!

JESUS later (in verses 22-21) tells us where to find TRUE FREEDOM & CONTENTMENT... they are found by depending exclusively on GOD and OBEYING HIM!!! JESUS points out the worthlessness of spending time worrying about the things that GOD has already taken care of (our provision---every thing we need!!!) Plants and animals don't worry about food and clothing, so neither should we. GOD takes care of them while they live from day to day, so dontchya' think if GOD made us ABOVE the animals that HE will take care of us too (duh, yeah!) if we make HIS kingdom our primary concern...HA! That is the clinker, the key, the bottom line...so let me repeat it... IF WE MAKE HIS KINGDOM OUR PRIMARY CONCERN THEN GOD WILL PROVIDE EVERYTHING HE THINKS WE NEED TO SURVIVE THIS LIFE HERE ON EARTH!!! & HIS KINGDOM IS A KINGDOM OF LOVE. 

In all we say, say it in LOVE. In all we do, do it in LOVE. All we think even, think it with LOVING thoughts...because the greatest of all things is LOVE.

TRUST GOD & that shows HIM that you love Him. Show that you trust & love HIM by obeying HIM. Trusting GOD's Supreme & Providential care will enable me (& you) in recovery to live one day at a time... recovering from the effects of the days when I (OR YOU) was (WERE) not walking in obedience to HIM...when I had strayed from the righteous path and went my own way I chose to walk away from GOD's blessings...I have made mistakes, (haven't we all???) & I am sure I will probably make a few more before I get to Heaven & guess what? I gotta' (mentally & emotionally) recover from that...& so do you.

GOD's re-hab plan is printed out for me (& you) in black and white... & better yet He says that He has written HIS TRUTH on the tablet of my heart (& yours) so my concience knows right from wrong, if only I would have listened to my conscience before I told it "No, no, no!". I know most of us know Good from evil. I can no longer justify evil and call it good to fulfill my own desires. I pray that GOD will keep purifying me (& you) in HIS re-hab.
Blessings,
Shawnie

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Mosquitoes

Due to the constant rainy weather down here in southern Georgia we have had "Mosquito Revival" going on. Shoo, I am so over those gargantuan, thirsty southern Georgia swamp dwelling blood suckers (A.K.A. Mosquitoes!) I think of them like lil' demons, sent from the pit of hell to suck my life's blood from my veins. The Bible tells us that satan comes only to kill, steal and destroy and yup...that is pretty much what them mosquitoes have set out to do to me as well!!! But why? Simply because I exist, and I am their target...that is just the way it is. I am not a bad person because of my unfortunate position as their unsolicited attention, am I? Nope, of course not... in fact I do my best to repel them, kill them and avoid contact with them. But they are a constant, they are militant, they are my enemy (no doubt!)

Have you ever had a mosquito buzz so close to your ear that you thought he was inside of your head? I have... it was a close encounter that I knew I had to shoo away... one that only I was aware of  and yet all those around me at the time must have thought I was ku-koo... I was swattin' and flailing my arms and doing a strange kind of bob and weave... I was afraid that sucker (the Mosquito) was gonna' bite me. I seriously heard that joker singing and it was so close it sounded like my own thought, like he was buzzing around in my noggin!!!  Now of course I know that is not even possible, since (contrary to popular belief) my head is not just an empty space for thoughts and dreams and mosquitoes to dwell... I happen to have a big brain which I choose to use from time to time and it is amazing and creative and I am told  (in the Bible) that I am to have the "Mind of Christ." But Ooh, to believe that...to really get that truth down into my whole spiritual being, to even fathom the possibility of lil' ole' me having the "Mind of Christ"...well that would just be life changing, wouldn't it be?  Yeah, it would, and that is the point of this blog... my "Spiritual Awakening"  has begun, so look out mosquitoes and demons... satan himself fears me... I have the authority to speak the name of JESUS, my advocate, my friend, my husband. 

I don't know about you, but I am thinkin' it is about time for a Spiritual Awakening, a real REVIVAL... a close encounter of the Holy Ghost kind! I am praying for personal revival, I am so in love with GOD, but I think I could go even deeper!

I speak life to my spiritual immune system where my enemies can not affect me negatively or even get a foot hold. I am a child of GOD, a Princess who lives under a blood covenant, not to be confused with a sinner saved by grace. I am not walking in my own strength, I walk with an army of believers, my brothers and sisters who have stood with me when I was too immature to know who I was. These people (who are not perfect, but who are being perfected) gather with me weekly to praise our Father who resides in Heaven. OHHH, how precious and HOLY is HIS name! Did you know that HIS kingdom has already come, and HIS will absolutely will be done (on Earth as it is done in Heaven)? I ask HIM to feed me HIS daily bread (as I read and ingest THE WORD OF GOD), and forgive me when I step off the path of righteousness and try to go my own way...as of course I forgive those who walk away from me & what I think is the right path...I know for a fact that GOD (who is perfect & who loves me) would never, ever lead me into temptation (I have found those temptations on my own or with the help of my enemies)...God is my Kingdom, My power and HE will continue to be my Glory for ever and ever! Yay, GOD!

I know that I am loved,  and for that I am so blessed.

Blessings,
Shawnie

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Still reading my Bible, how 'bout you?

...Even when I do not know exack~a~lackly what to read, I know that reading my Bible daily is the best way to begin my day! So My best advice on how to read your Bible daily??? Begin with the Proverbs chapter for what ever today is...for example: today is June 9, so I would read Proverbs the 9th chapter! It is that simple!

That only scratches the surface though, I really like to dig deeper. I have a "Daily Walk" Bible in the New Living Translation and I love it! It has enabled me to read through the entire Bible in one year (twice!) Every time I read my Bible it seems to speak new TRUTHs to me...I guess because my frame of mind changes daily, and life experiences have me thinkin' different thoughts, ya' know? I also love the "Daily Message" which is more of a translation, not the only Bible you want on your shelf, but it really helps me have a deeper understanding of things that may have other wise gone unnoticed by me. I love the WORD, sometimes I crave it actually!

I would have to say that when I began to read my Bible daily is when I began to mature as a Christian... it is like taking medicine...you know you have a cure all in the medicine cabinet, but seriously, if you just don't take it you will not be cured, duh! 

In today's American culture, we really have no excuses NOT to ingest the WORD daily! I love to read books or my Kindle, but for those who are not big on reading...there are free podcasts online for your ipod where people read The Bible for you and all you have to do is to download it onto your ipod daily, then listen...I love the Daily Audio Bible Podcast...it changed my life. I began to listen to it on my ipod the first year that Brian Hardin began to read... I was having a lot of stress in my life, my marriage and my family that year. I had just bought my ipod and I needed to fill it with as many freebies as I could, because I did not have a lot of money to download songs from itunes!!! What a blessing. I love the way Brian would read to the background noise like natural white noises...I used to go to sleep listening to that podcast every night. I was also diagnosed with depression that year and my doctor prescribed a mild anti-depressant...instead of getting the prescription filled I would listen to the podcast like it was my medicine, and it was!!! It has been over five years and I still have not filled that prescription! Here is a link to the DAB, try it out for yourself, it may just save your life!!! (Or at least your sanity!)

www.dailyaudiobible.com

I also found things to do with myself (other than thinking of how crappy things were) and I began to make things with crafts. I love to bead, sew, knit and make jewelry...I am always trying to learn something new with regard to crafting...I love to give my creations away and bless others with them. I finally decided to open an Etsy store a year or so ago with the hope of earning back a little money to make more goodies!!! God has truly blessed me with HIS Cre8iveSpirit and I want to use it to honor HIM. My hope is that this blog will touch lives and be a place where people find TRUTH and inspiration.

Blessings,
Shawnie Hendrix
www.cre8ivespirit.etsy.com

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

June Already?

June 6, 2012

June Already?

Wow, where does the time go?  I have been so busy doing life that I have not had the chance to even think of blogging lately! I am constantly thinking of how to improve my use of time, and I really thought this blog would be a great way to organize my thoughts and my randomness, pulling it all together into a nice, sweet lil' package for me to reflect upon once in a while! Well, life gets so hectic when you're title is "Momma"!

All is well. School is over for the year (Luke passed the 7th grade!) and my Cre8ive Spirit business is growing and blooming beautifully... Check it out at www.cre8ivespirit.etsy.com!
Blessings,
Shawnie

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